NASA Discovers Life On Drubber 3
There’s good news for scientists and others who have been hoping we’d discover life in outer space.
It exists on a planet called Drubber 3, says NASA.
NASA has been monitoring radio transmissions from this distant dot in the cosmos, but after studying them closely, the agency is disturbed by the content, and considering censorship.
It seems Drubber 3 has show after show featuring hosts that are the intergalactic equivalent of Howard Stern.
They curse, promote obscenity and promiscuity, and play terrible music.
Plus, they think nothing of promoting warfare and conquest.
Unfortunately, they know we exist, and they’re intent on channeling their smut our way, NASA warns.
Worse, they like our women, and say they can really make them happy, unlike earthmen, who they refer to as “Wusses and wimps who are more interested in sports than in taking care of business, at home.”
Actress Susan Sarandon has offered to meet with them on a neutral planet, or at the Polo Lounge, whatever is more convenient.
In a tersely worded statement, Vice President Dick Cheney has warned Sarandon and others from engaging in what he terms “Mindless meddling in the affairs of State.”
He has extended his own invitation to the aliens to meet for barbecue and a little recreation at a friend’s ranch in Texas.
Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone®, You Can Sell Anything By Telephone! and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.
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